In keeping with the holiday tradition

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  • Biff
    Speed Bag Wizard

    • Feb 2008
    • 1190

    In keeping with the holiday tradition

    Below are some takeoffs on a few holiday classics. Hope they bring a smile to your face during the holiday season.

    For those of you who are new, this was last year's thread.

    Santa Claus is Coming to Town

    You better punch well,
    You better not lag.
    Better not smell,
    When hitting the bag.
    Alan Kahn is coming to watch.

    He sees you when you’re punching,
    He hears when you’re off beat.
    He knows if you’ve punched bad or good,
    So punch good, and do not cheat.

    O! You better punch well,
    You better not lag.
    Better not smell,
    When hitting that bag.
    Alan Kahn is coming to watch.
    Alan Kahn is coming to watch.

    Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

    Swivels mounted on a big old drum,
    Speed bags hanging on the hooks,
    Outside baggers getting frostbit and numb,
    Folks buy up all Alan’s books.

    Every bagger knows, that practice and some bag control,
    Help to make their punching bright.
    Newbie folks, with no skills to extol,
    May find it hard to get it right.

    We know that Alan’s on his way,
    He’s loaded lots of books and CDs on his sleigh,
    And every bagger’s eye is going to tear,
    Should that Alan Kahn really not appear

    And so keep bagging and never stop,
    Each day punch an hour, maybe two,
    Although you bag it seems til you drop
    Keep on baggin, yes you.

    Let it Snow!

    Now our speedbag we give a whacking,
    Oh it takes a good shellacking.
    And since we promised not to lag,
    Let us Bag, let us Bag, let us Bag!

    Keep on hitting it non-stopping,
    The bladder shows no sign of popping.
    Be sure your arms do not sag.
    Let us Bag, let us Bag, let us Bag!

    When we finally get it right,
    How we’ll love showing all our new skill.
    But if you fly high as a kite.
    Remember be sure to chill.

    We tire, we slow down punching,
    And we try, we still try crunching.
    But as long as we do not drag,
    Let us Bag, let us Bag, let us Bag!
  • paranday
    Speed Bag Guru
    • Sep 2009
    • 2515

    #2
    You can safely quit your day job.

    Comment

    • toolboxdiver
      Speed Bag Guru
      • Jan 2008
      • 516

      #3
      you go biff with your bad ass posting self
      LMAO

      Comment

      • juxt
        Speed Bag Trainee

        • Jun 2010
        • 216

        #4
        these are great, especially the first one. hahaha

        Comment

        • Tim
          Administrator and Founder of SpeedBagForum.com


          • Jan 2006
          • 3428

          #5
          Haha, that's good Biff. You know what would be great? Somebody punch drumming to those tunes and singing it at the same time... that would be awesome!!! ANyone that talented?

          Comment

          • Speedbag
            Author of the Speed Bag Bible, founder of speedbagcentral.com

            • Feb 2006
            • 7109

            #6
            Originally posted by Tim View Post
            Haha, that's good Biff. You know what would be great? Somebody punch drumming to those tunes and singing it at the same time... that would be awesome!!! ANyone that talented?
            OK, you got me on the singing part. PD to them is no problem, but the singing would probably cause youtube to close. and I don't want that on my conscious.
            Speed Bag

            Put a little Rhythm in YOUR workout!
            *attendee: Every SB gathering so far!
            The Quest Continues...
            Hoping for another Gathering...


            sigpic

            The Art of the Bag

            Comment

            • spinsmashpop
              Speed Bag Wizard

              • Nov 2008
              • 1081

              #7
              BIF... I sometimes feel as though I am losing my mind...
              then I come to the speed bag forum and see stuff like your post
              and it makes me realize.... I am not the only one!
              haha!!!!
              Good stuff!
              But still... don't forget .... I am the freak who ordered "way too expensive" Xmas balls that were pear shaped, so to me, they were Xmas speed bag balls!
              And I ordered them at the last minute and sent them out to you guys at the last minute with expensive Xmas rush delivery to get there time..
              For one Xmas pear shaped bulb!!!!!!
              HAHa... yes, that was definitely an act putting me one step closer to the wild and wacky world of the insane!
              haha...
              WAit ... where 's that picture...

              Comment

              • paranday
                Speed Bag Guru
                • Sep 2009
                • 2515

                #8
                Originally posted by spinsmashpop View Post
                ...But still... don't forget .... I am the freak who ordered "way too expensive" Xmas balls that were pear shaped, so to me, they were Xmas speed bag balls!...
                Everlast once made special white boxing gloves for The Pope. I don't see why they can't make speed bags for The Tree. If they one day do, just don't be fooled by their listed sizes. Everlast can't measure in the same way The Pope can't punch.

                Comment

                • Mrs Mitts
                  Speed Bag Guru
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 285

                  #9
                  Very very good Biff, definitely brought a smile to my face!

                  Comment

                  • atgatt
                    Speed Bag Guru
                    • Nov 2007
                    • 446

                    #10
                    "Alan Kahn is coming to watch."

                    Bif, I've been away for a while, but glad to see the talent is still in this forum; still mixed with a bit of insanity. I love it.

                    Merry Christmas to you all.

                    Comment

                    • novaspeedbagger
                      Speed Bag Guru
                      • Aug 2010
                      • 470

                      #11
                      Must have been a naughty bagger

                      Hey do you baggers think that was Alan that left my popped Vinyl speed bag, patched with duct tape, full of coal........on my swivel hook??? LOL

                      I knew I should have went with leather for my first bag..........that was pre-speedbagforum days......

                      Give a bagger a break!
                      Novaspeedbagger

                      Comment

                      • Speedbag
                        Author of the Speed Bag Bible, founder of speedbagcentral.com

                        • Feb 2006
                        • 7109

                        #12
                        Originally posted by novaspeedbagger View Post
                        Hey do you baggers think that was Alan that left my popped Vinyl speed bag, patched with duct tape, full of coal........on my swivel hook??? LOL

                        I knew I should have went with leather for my first bag..........that was pre-speedbagforum days......

                        Give a bagger a break!
                        Alas, my friend, I would never leave such a thing for a "Supernova".

                        Helium, maybe. Never Coal. (It's too hard on the hands)
                        Speed Bag

                        Put a little Rhythm in YOUR workout!
                        *attendee: Every SB gathering so far!
                        The Quest Continues...
                        Hoping for another Gathering...


                        sigpic

                        The Art of the Bag

                        Comment

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